While doing my tutoring gig, I had a high school student who was looking at two pieces of writing. I’m not sure she was exactly clear about what she was supposed to do with these pieces, but I think she was supposed to look at them and write an essay on what they meant and the impact of them. It was an interesting exercise from my perspective because I could palpably see how the student struggled with concepts and themes that seemed pretty clear to me. Maybe age has done that. Maybe time.
At the center of both pieces was a child, a boy in one and a girl in the other. Both of them were witnessing or experiencing the adults in their lives going through difficult, stressful and sad times. The boy’s father is a drunk. There is some indication that the father was probably physically abusive to either the boy’s mother or him, or both. The girl’s mother had just heard about the assassination of President Kennedy. The children were trying to make sense of what the adults in their lives were doing or feeling.
What I found interesting was that my student didn’t seem to see what I felt was clear in both pieces. What does a child want? Love, security, stability. Those things are the dimensions of a child’s world and when the adults act strange or are fearful, all that the children want is the feeling that they are safe and secure, and that their life will go on. The needs of children don’t always mesh with the realities of adulthood.
As a child, I lived in an unstable environment. But all I wanted was love, security and stability—values that were sometimes illusive and not assured. Love, security and stability. That’s all I want now.